i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
