I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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