She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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