Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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