I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
