Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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