She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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