is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize