I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
