I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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