I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize