but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
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thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
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No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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