I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
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