Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
