spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
