Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
