So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize