last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
