I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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