She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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