If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
