I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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