Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize