Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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