we're blogging at a bar
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
she was so not down for the gang bang
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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