My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
