i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
