Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
