quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
