Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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