I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
