I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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