Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
