So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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