No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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