I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
