She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
