You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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