This is not my ceiling
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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