Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
