Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I have feelings that need drinking.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
