I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize