i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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