i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
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