you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
