dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
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