In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
