Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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