wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
