he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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