Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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