theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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