my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
if only i could text you this smell
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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