I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
