i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
