And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
being pregnant is like rehab
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
