you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Randomize