If i come over, it means nothing
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize